Maryrose Lyons blogging since 2003...

Simple Assembly Me Hole

July 25, 2009 at 2:32 pm

Dedicated to IKEA virgins, this is my latest venture: Simple Assembly Me Hole.

Launching on Monday to coincide with the IKEA Dublin launch, I set it up for people like me.  I’d be just the one to go in for a milk jug and come out with a sofa, wardrobe, and a new set of pots and pans… but I’d hate having to face the assembly nightmare back home.

Paul Cullen in today’s Irish Times makes me shudder when he refers to how:

We have strugged to assemble flatpack furniture with nothing more than an Allen key, a wordless set of instructions and a passing acquaintance with DIY.

I know I’m not alone! Judging by the comments on Twitter, which range from “flatpack furniture assembly should be included in pre-marriage courses” to “a day in IKEA, a man’s idea of hell. Getting it home and having to assemble it, Dante’s inferno”.

Simple Assembly Me Hole offers the following services:

• Assembly of Ikea furniture – at a very reasonable €30 per item. Other flatpack services insofar as they exist charge by the hour.
• Installation of Ikea kitchens – again at very reasonable rates.
• Delivery – we’ll deliver next day for all orders before noon and again good rates. I think people will find they’ll have to wait 7 days for Ikea to deliver

Key benefits:

• While there are already a number of flatpack furniture assembly guys, they tend to be one man with a van – so you may find you have to wait til he gets around to you.  I’ve assembled and vetted a team of highly skilled carpenters, cabinet makers and fitters dotted all around the city, so if we get an order in Lucan, our man in Lucan will be there in a jiffy.
• Another key differentiator is that we charge a fixed flat fee per item. All of the others charge based on time. Therefore it is in our interests to get the job done as quickly as possible, whereas competitors might be tempted to push things into the ’second hour’.
• Our delivery service offers next day delivery for bookings made before noon. Ikea delivers alright, but experience overseas shows that you’ll be waiting up to 7 days for your item to be delivered.

Who Needs Us?

• Singles who don’t own a own toolbox (and don’t want to!)
• Couples who are DIY-challenged
• Expectant parents wanting to kit out baby’s new room safely
• Property owners who need to kit out apartments for rental
• Business owners who can’t afford the downtime of assembling new office furniture when it arrives

Is this you?  If wobbly coffee tables and sloping bookshelves are a feature of your life, then visit “Simple Assembly Me Hole.com” on Monday and book in for a low cost solution to your needs.

If you’d like to keep updated on our progress, I’ll be posting regular updates to the Facebook Fan Page and on Twitter.  So join us over there – and don’t forget to tell people!

Simple Assembly Me Hole

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Tags: flatpack furniture assembly, IKEA Dublin delivery, IKEA furniture assembly, IKEA kitchens installation, Simple Assembly Me Hole